As I may have mentioned, I'm a senior in high school. This means that I am writing college essays, filling out scholarship applications, and trying to get some real world experience now that I've decided what I want to do with my life.
I want to be a writer. There is no doubt in my mind when it comes to that fact. I also want to be a lawyer, a soccer mom, a senator's wife, (admittedly, that one's a little hard to control) a great friend and consistent mentor.
Sadly, I'm having a hard time finding a balance between all these things in my life. Right now I'm volunteering on a congressional campaign and at my local courthouse while also participating in choir, speech, and debate. I co-lead a Bible study for young woman ages 8-13, I read books on famous people and political movements, I try to keep caught up on the NYT YA bestsellers (Heir of Fire was amazing by the way. Read it. (I'm looking at you, Cait @TheNotebookSisters.)) I'm also deeply in love with the show Scandal, having watched almost all 3 seasons in the last 5 weeks. Did I mention that I'm a newly licensed foster sister with some adorable but time-demanding foster kids?
I guess I could delete that paragraph and just write "Life is busy." So since the semester started, I've written pretty close to 0 words. I roughly outlined and worldbuilt a seven book series that I'm currently itching to start writing, but aside from that I haven't worked on any of my writing projects. I've been sadly lax in getting back to my writing accountability partner, Lily J and my critique partner Elizabeth. Like, I've written Lily one email and haven't even read a word of Elizabeth's novel since school started.
And the worse part? I don't even feel guilty. (Alright, I feel guilty about Elizabeth and Lily, but not about my own work.) Right now, there is so little downtime in my life, that when I do have it, I'd rather watch Scandal than write 500 words. And that seems awful to me.
You always see those quotations, "I write, because if I don't write, my soul will shrivel up and die." Or something along those lines. That's not true for me. I write because writing makes me happy. I write because characters burn inside my imagination. And while it's fun to have them there, it's so much harder to share them with others when they only live inside my head.
So with all that being said, I'm taking a break from writing. Before you gasp and throw rotten tomatoes at my head (here in my state everyone has lots of rotten tomatoes on their counters and in their gardens) know that I'm not quitting. In fact, I'm participating in a 100 for 100 contest. For those of you who don't know, that's when you pledge to write 100 words a day for 100 days in a row. But aside from those 10,000 words written for the 100 for 100 contest, I'm not putting any pressure on myself to write this semester. I do want to finish critiquing Elizabeth's novel. I do want to win the 100 for 100 contest. I do want to do NaNoWriMo, but from where life looks right now that's not going to happen. I do want to start writing the first draft of the first novel in that seven book series, but that's not going to happen either.
And I'm okay with all that. I've poured a lot of my time in high school into learning how to write books. And this semester, I want to pour that time into other areas of my life, such as volunteering on campaigns, and spending some final months with fellow classmates who will be moving away next summer. And I guess I just wanted to tell you that.
If you have something to say, feel free to leave a comment. Thanks for reading!